i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
