Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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