Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
