His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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