i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
