im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
