the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
