just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
a search helicopter?!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
