Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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