she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
