I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
