can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
