he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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