She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
