i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The dick lei will go down in squad history
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
