help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
