In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
