Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
