wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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