I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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