There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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