It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
These tits shall not be calmed
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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