was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
