The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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