Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
