Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
