Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I die, sorry about rent.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
