i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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