he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
