went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
