The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
