we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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