Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
