he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
