Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
