I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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