you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
