rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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