Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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