I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
