i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
