worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
