i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
