you guys were way drunker than both of me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
