Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
