Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
