Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
