Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
