I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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