As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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