Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
