just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
